A Dose of Two-Year-Old Reality

We made it! Hayden, Payson and Madison are a month into their threes and with the new year, I feel as though I can officially say goodbye to the twos. We definitely had many, many exciting, fun, thrilling, joyful and magical moments in 2010. But, the twos were oftentimes "terrible." In fact, they were too terrible, too often, especially in the first nine months of 2010.

It's easy to share the good times on our blog. After all, who really wants to hear a mother complain about how challenging life is when she is blessed beyond measure? Also, I promise you that if I shared what is typical in our day-to-day lives, you would see lots of pictures of children in timeout or videos of scream-filled tantrums.

That being said, here's a little peek into what a typical day looked like with three two-year-olds. Please note, this is the short version. Of course, I try many methods to distract, soothe, discipline and parent them in general during these moments, but this is a chronicle of their behavior, not mine. All of this happened in under four hours.

Welcome to July 21st, 2010...
the kids are 2 years, 7 months and 2 days old...

The kids wake up at 6:45 AM relatively happy. At this age, that usually only lasts a few minutes.
Madison refuses to get dressed so I eventually have to force-dress her. (Mmm-hmm, you toddler parents know what I'm talking about! Mommy, "the Force-dresser!")

Madison then continues to throw a fit about how I won't carry her down the stairs. (After all, I can no longer carry two, much less three, kids down the stairs anymore. Certainly not at 30 pounds each!)

Once downstairs, neither Hayden nor Madison will get into their seats for breakfast no matter what I do or say. I have to eventually put them in their booster seats, receiving great resistance, and buckle them in. (Love booster seats! Actually, just love straps in general...)

Madison is still really, really mad. She eventually calms down but needs to be spoon-fed her oatmeal like a baby. (Looking back, I SHOULD have let her go hungry, which is what we do now if they refuse to feed themselves.)

Once in the car, the kids scream and fight over books.

We arrive at the gym and Hayden refuses to get out of the car. I eventually make her. (Mommy "the Enforcer.")

Madison insists on holding my hand instead of our four-handled walking rope and throws a huge fit in the middle of the parking lot. I have to scoop her under my arm and carry her inside. She needs a long hug to calm down so that she will be agreeable enough to go into childcare.

Hayden and Madison habitually resist getting their numbered sticker tags by running to the back corner of the check-in area singing "no stickers, no stickers" driving both me and the childcare workers crazy.

Kids are finally in the play area and Mommy gets to go work out and work off the stress. Yay!

Upon checking out the kids, I am refreshed and the kids are extremely happy. Madison is so excited to see me that she runs towards me. I ask her to go get her shoes so she turns around to run back and slams directly into Payson who was also running towards me in excitement. Now, both Madison and Payson are in screaming, sobbing hysterics in the middle of the play area.

Payson calms down with a little successful soothing. (Mommy "the Soothester.")

Meanwhile a childcare worker tries to help Madison which makes her extremely angry (how dare she try to help!) and she wildly protests like an angry dragon doing everything but spitting fire. Then, that worker kindly went and got her shoes for her and that infuriated Madison even more because she wanted to get her own shoes. Hayden is now screaming and crying (monkey see, monkey do). Not surprisingly, all of the childcare workers are now frozen while looking at me with their eyes wide open in horror. (Now I am Mommy "the Mortified.") It seemed as though time stopped for everyone but me and my hysterical children. I wish it had actually, but, in reality, her hysterics continued for a long five minutes there in the childcare lobby. After all, I couldn't let her throw a fit in the workout room, nor could I safely get three toddlers to the car in such a vulnerable situation.

A line forms outside of the childcare area as the girls' tantrums start to slow, and I am finally able to distract them by taking them into the grown-up locker room.

Once the kids are calmed, I bring out our walking rope and proceed to exit the building. Madison again refuses to hold the walking rope, insisting on my hand instead. That causes Hayden to get upset as she wants everything to be equal. There are full meltdowns by both Hayden and Madison in the middle of the parking lot. (The purpose of the walking rope is to navigate parking lots safely as I only have two hands and three children who fight over them. I still haven't grown that third arm that I need! Unfortunately, the sharing of a hand or holding onto my pocket, jacket or purse does not satisfy them - they want my whole hand to themselves. If only everyone offered free Valet parking!)

Once in the car, Hayden refuses to have her dirty diaper changed. I have to eventually pin her down (Mommy "the Pro Wrestler") to get her changed. Hayden is now nearly hyperventilating and refuses to be soothed or reasoned with, or to get into her carseat. Her four limbs seemingly turn into an octopus' eight as I try to capture them one-by-one to strap her in.

For the record, at this point I SHOULD HAVE GONE HOME!

Unfortunately, I chose to proceed onto our mid-morning activity. After all, if we stayed home every time I had tantruming two-year-olds, I'd never leave the house!

We arrive at church for a movie social, and I unbuckle Payson first. Payson climbs into the front seats and messes with all of the control buttons - lights, windshield wipers, radio, window and door settings - as I tend to the girls.

Once out of the car, Hayden refuses to walk with the walking rope. As Payson is standing in the grass, patiently waiting, he steps in an ant hill and is bitten at least a dozen times.

On the way in, Madison, again, throws a fit about not getting to hold my hand (noticing a trend?) and screams the entire way into the church.

Once inside, there are no tantrums during the movie, but there are many, many timeouts for screaming (Hayden and Madison), hitting (Madison) and defiantly climbing on the stage (Hayden).

When it's time to leave, Hayden refuses to leave the room. (Again, noticing another trend?)

The kids decide to put their blankets on like capes and are now happily walking down the hall. Until... Payson trips and busts his lip. He's now sobbing and bleeding.

Finally out of the room, Hayden now refuses to walk down the hall. And the girls keep screaming every time their blanket capes fall of, and, of course, once I take them away. (Mommy, "the Meanie.")

Finally at the church's exit, the girls insist upon playing on the slippery wheelchair ramp, which has glass walls on either side.

After nearly dragging the girls to the exit door, I bend down to calmly tell them my expectations of how we are to walk to the car. Hayden senses my vulnerability in a bent-down position and runs off.

I grab Hayden and a nearby Angel, I mean receptionist, grabs Madison and helps me to the car despite Madison's best effort to push her off and pinch her. (Mommy "the Apologetic.")

Finally in the car, I am, without a doubt, Mommy "the Weary."

***

Are you feeling my pain here? Are you as exhausted reading this as I am reliving it?

Let's just say, although this kind of extreme catastrophe of a morning didn't happen every day, the twos certainly offered many unrelenting moments.

And, again, if you are wondering, "Why didn't she do anything about X, Y or Z?" Know that I did soothe and discipline when appropriate but this was simply one of those mornings that nothing worked.

So, where are we now, you ask? God is merciful and has certainly been good to me!
- The kids rarely have massive meltdowns about wanting to hold my hand instead of the walking rope (although now we have new issues "they're pulling to me" or "you're walking too fast!"). But, hey, there's progress.
- I no longer have physical struggles to get the kids in their booster seats or carseats.
- The kids now happily accept their sticker tags at the gym.
- Hayden generally no longer refuses to walk with us.

I hear from other triplet moms that "the threes are worse than the twos." It's hard to believe that a four hour period could be more difficult than this day just six months ago. Only time will tell!